"OH GOD, PLEASE MAKE ME STRONG ENOUGH TO GO THROUGH ALL THESE."
♥ holding on tight, never let go ♥
melancholy mood
11:02 AM
here i am stuck at home. haizz.. total boredness. i wanna go out but mum doesn't allow. anyway, after some thought, macam malas gitu nak kluar. not in the mood. *melancholy mood*. &&, i'm fasting today so yeah, stay at home je lah eh. sleep maybe. with this kind of weather it's best to sleep. mum woke me up early in the morning just now. i was total frustrated seh. she asked me to accompany her go pasar. there i went with my swollen eyes. i kinda don't like it when people disturbed my peaceful sleep. irritating u know!!!
yesterday, went to kak sara's house to hantar kain with mum. dah lamer tak kak sara. she always outstation. the reason going there is to tempah baju lah kan! omg. come to think of it, tak sabar nak raye. i sent 2 sets of kain. one black and another green. and at the same time, i got no mood to raye. haizz.. see.. i'm contradicting. siao kan? hmm..
yesterday again, wasn't really a good day for me (and maybe you). i went to school with him to take my ezlink as i lost in school on monday during the captain ball match. i received a call the day before saying that they found my ezlink and i can come to school to claim it. you know how shocked i am to know that my ezlink was not with them!!! so as to say, they have yet to find my ezlink. what's worst is that none of the staff called me eh. so who the heck call me seh. my mistake lah, i didn't ask who the caller is. urgh~ so yeah, now i'm still waiting for the return of my ezlink. hmmm..
the reason for my melancholy mood is.. 'there's no more 'i love you more!'. i just realised that i'm just a WANT and not a NEED. let me share with u people, the difference of wants and needs.
the definition of want is form taken by human needs as they are shaped by culture and individual personality;
and the definition of need is needs are states of felt deprivation.
direct translation in malay. NEED = PERLU; WANT = NAK.
it's a total different thing ok.
and i'm just a want to that someone.
according to him, love has faded.
anger is controlling him.
& that's the reason why.
and that's why he treats me this way.
i'm feeling very low and down.
shorter than my height is.
on the verge of breaking down,
crying all night long.
simply said, i give up.
gonna lose that hero any seconds.
i'll still keep to my words:
♥ holding on tight, never let go ♥
may you rest in peace.
Tuesday, August 28, 2007 2:32 PM
yesterday, my nenek-sedare left us. it happened so sudden. i received a call from my mum and she passed me the news. i was so shocked and of course, i cried. fana aka obek, lent her shoulder for me to cry on. thanks obek.
p.s: i'm so gonna miss her nutella cake. haizz.. it's been so long since i last saw you. there's no next time. =( *will be missing you*
yesterday was MCC's girls captain ball match! haha.. coolness. i was in the red group lah kan. and guess what? yang red group semue cute2 banget! kecik2 seh mcm aku gak. omg! there was irma and min, the only tall ones. the rest was hidayah, yusliza, tiana, and myself. hehe.. cute kan?? we lost. sedih seh. yang tinggi2 bully us seh. sooo bad~!
we are known as RED HOT CHILLI PEPPER BABES!
so what do you expect? of course, they'll go around pushing us and throw the ball up high. haha.. actually kan, the red team had done things quite well. impressive!! lovelove!!
to the girls that came for the match, hope you girls enjoy yourself! &&, i want more of all these! please. hehe.. not forgetting, kepada sesiapa2 yang dilanggar dengan sengajenya atau dengan tak sengajenye, harap maafkan lah eh.hehe..
i have to miss dk training ystd due to nak melawat. haizzz.. i miss dk.
where's the love?
i just realised that we both are total differents,
you're like one end, and i'm at the other end,
NORTH and SOUTH..
but still, do love me for who i am.
maybe, it's true when they say that opposite attracts.
but still i believe..
♥ holding on tight, never let go ♥
i can smell the fresh air now!
Friday, August 24, 2007 3:49 PM
at last, the time i've been waiting for is here. exams are over! yahoo~!! no more mugging late nights looking at the bloody textbooks. now is the time that we called "ENJOY".
i really don't know what to do for this 2 months holidays. nak work, malas pulak. haha. but i want money . see how lah, maybe i'll just continue giving tuition. money still goes in. but insufficietlah. i'm sooooooooooooooo gonna enjoy this 2 months holidays. & what's more, it's gonna be fasting month soon. awesome! that means raye is just around the corner. double coolness! can't wait to spend time with those a-bi-good girls and that darling boyfie. muax!
lately, i've been wanting to dance and dance and dance. i can't wait for the next dance training so that i can get groovy!!! && not forgetting, to shout and bang! hehe.. what i meant was my dikir training. hehe..
klah, don't know what more to say. doodles!
i've just realised that it has been hard for me to get attention from peeps.
be it family, friends and maybe...
it's hard and hell yes, i know.
see peeps, that's the thing.
i'm strange and that's why peeps don't really like me.
&&, i know deeply inside.
you have to be pretty and hot, in order to blend.
well, hopeless for me then.
the truth is when i say i don't care, that means i CARE.
Y holding on tight, never let go Y
080706
back
Saturday, August 18, 2007 10:03 PM
i know, i know, it's been such a long time since my last update. i've really not in the mood to update and also, i can't hardly update. well, i know, what's the purpose of me having a blog right? just for the fun of it. duh~ and also according to one of the closed ones, my blog is lame. yesterday (17.Aug.07) was my mum's birthday. there was a small party at home. total cuteness with my youngest sister, izah, singing "anak" song along with fauzan strumming the guitar. hee.. mum was so touched, i guess. exams are just around the corner. and it's like freaking next week, and i'm just browsing through my book and didn't study that much. omg! what's hell wrong with me? i'm not sure if i can make it this time round. come on dhilah, you can do it!!! ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
sometimes it's just so hard to understand people.
they expect something but,
little they didn't realise that they didn't give people
a chance.
what do i lack to commit myself?
i'm sick and tired of all these.
it's best to just keep things to self.
and you!
as day goes by,
i have a hard time to understand you
what's wrong?
i wonder what wrong i do now.
as said, i'm the bad one.
i'm sorry..
i know that i'm no good.
to all my lovely friends, all the best for the coming exams!! study hard2 aite.
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