here i am crying like nobody business, and no one was even there for me. i'm feeling very sad. very, very, very sad. plus GERAM. everyone is having a nice time with other people. but here i am in my dark room, blogging about this since i really got no one to talk to.
today, i found out that my mum intruded my privacy too by logging in to this lappy of mine, and just read whatever can found here. plus, i got to know that whoever and whenever i talked to someone, my siblings was like "pasang telinga" to every conversation of mine. i feel so rimas seh. seriously. things really changed eversince i "broke off" with hafiz. my mum is getting on my nerves every single day. she smsed the gfs about me, and so is hafiz. he smsed the gfs too. seriously people, i feel so rimas seh. f**king rimas.
salah ke? am i wrong to break up with hafiz? i'm just standing for my rights. tu je.. i just want to be free, and also be happy. yes, happy. i want to smile once again. but then, everyone seems not to care. they only care about hafiz's feeling. but how about me? so what he was hurt? he's hurt NOW after i asked to end this relationship but how about my feelings that was hurt for the last two years? nobody sees it. nobody knows it. so once again, i'm wrong right?
mum scolded me so badly like as if i really did a big mistake. she don't know anything and she acts like she knows everything that is happening around here. i'm really frustrated with her but there's nothing i can do about it. she really pissed me seh. why for once, can't she see her daughter being happy.. whey can't her? why think about that hafiz when he is not even her son. i'm really, really feeling sad seh people. really... it really turn me off when people intrude into my privacy. i really hate it ok. and sadly, mum and hafiz did that. what's wrong with these people eh? don't they like have any better things to do? huh? huh? stop bothering me lah, please.. i'm feeling so suffocated now.
come on lah people, i'm only 19. i just want to be happy. can't i?? i want to do whatever i want. tak boleh ke? i'm very tired seh, very tired. both emotionally and physically. people are attacking me. and i'm scared that i'll just break down. i'm not really that strong ok, i'm getting weaker each day.
oh today, i hate you so. oh God, please make me strong to go through all these obstacles. oh Girls, i'm so sorry to disturb your dates today. no worries, that'll be the last. oh Boy, i'm so sorry that all these happened because of me. so sorry... i'm sure you know what i mean.
-dyla. (crying miserably) not pms-ing ok, i'm really feeling down. in need of a big hug and a shoulder to cry on.
(p.s: try calling me, if i didn't reply your msgs)
