forever a failure, i guess. i need to change, not for anyone, but myself. *sobsobsob* i'm hopeless with this hopeless course. pfft.
now, i just feel like crying and just cry like nobody's business. i'm holding back my tears now. i can't possibly just cry in the office. i soo have to take a half day leave. my mind is not here, my heart is shattered, i look shaggered and lastly i'm disappointed. i may be weak and soft-hearted but please people, don't take advantage of it. i wanna be strong like how i used to be. i don't know since God knows when, i've changed and i realised it too okay. i used to be those tomboyish type who's hot-tempered and super duper sensitive. i don't wear skirts, i don't wear tube dresses, i don't put on a blusher and mascara as eyeliner will be good. i don't feel embarrased burping very loudly in front of people as i believe that "it's always better out than in". plus, i was seldom there for my girlfriends, as to me, i prefer to be friends with guys. girlfriends, they always talk about guys and i find that boring someway somehow. but yes, lately i've changed. changed to a be a girl, i shall say. i wanna keep long hair now. i have this dream of wearing a black tube dress with my long hair covering my shoulder. how girlish is that right? come to think back of it, will dyla in the past want to wear this kinda shit? pffft.
losing such a good friend. very disappointing... very..
